Ep. 28 The Power of Centering Prayer with Rich Lewis

Maria Mayes: [00:00:00] Thank you so much for being back with us again. Chakras and Chardonnay listeners. I'm excited to be back and I'm excited about my guest today. Today I have Rich Lewis, who is an author, a speaker, and a coach that focuses on centering prayer as a means for inner transformation. And so he teaches centering prayer in both his local and virtual community and offers one on one coaching as well, and has a new book out titled, Sitting with God, a Journey to Your True Self through Centering Prayer. So I'm really excited to get into this. He's been a daily practitioner. So he practices what he preaches of centering prayer since June 1, 2014. And so since it's been so life changing and life giving, which is a beautiful way to put it life giving, um, he feels compelled to share his journey with others.

Uh, with who wish to learn more about it. So, um, joining us from North Carolina today is. Rich, thank you so much for being on the show. Sure. 

Rich Lewis: [00:01:00] Thanks for having me on. Look forward to our discussion and helping your community. Yeah. 

Maria Mayes: So I'd love to, for you just to expand a little bit more about centering prayer and how it has been life giving.

to you, how you came about it, like how you came to it and how it transformed you. And then we'll talk about how it can do the same for our listeners. 

Rich Lewis: So I guess I discovered Centering Prayer, um, in late 2013. Um, prior to that, I had heard that silence, I had read books by a gentleman by the name of Carl McCullman, and he talked a lot about how transforming silence was.

So Prior to like late 2013, I would just try to sit in silence and I found it kind of painfully brutal because I didn't really know what I was doing, I guess you could say. But then I was simply perusing Amazon in, in really the fourth quarter of 2013, looking for a book to read, not looking for a silent prayer practice, just having fun poking around Amazon.

[00:02:00] And I found a book called Healing the Divide, Recovering Christianity's Mystic Roots by Amos Smith. So I sort of, Tried the sample of the Kindle and then ended up buying the Kindle version Because what piqued my interest was he talked about a silent prayer practice Called Centering Prayer that he had been doing for at least 15 or 20 years up until that point So it piqued my interest because I knew that I was I didn't know what I was doing I was sort of stumbling in the silence and here He talked about a practice and a way to sit in the silence.

So that piqued my interest and I had never heard of centering prayer. So I continued reading the book, began trying centering prayer for myself, and then also reached out to him on his website. We just did a lot of back and forth. Dialogue and then we're actually friends to this day and we actually speak on a month about it once a month basis He's on the west coast.

I'm on the east coast And it's and I'm joking when I say this I say it's his fault that I wrote my book He actually [00:03:00] nudged me to write this book and kind of helped help me with the book writing process So, um, so that's really that's how I and we can talk about what is centering prayer But that's really how I found centering prayer.

I found it on Amazon 

Maria Mayes: You never realize what you find on Amazon, right? Well, I love this, and the title of his book, again, was Healing the Divide, is that it? 

Rich Lewis: Right, Healing the Divide, um, Recovering Christianity's Mystic Roots. So, in there, he talks a lot about silence, and he talks about Jesus, but he does talk a lot about kind of the power of center and prayer and silence.

Maria Mayes: I'd love it if we could talk a little bit about this, subject because it's been, front and center for me lately in that, uh, one of the places that I teach is, uh, um, outpatient center and, in that, a substance use, disorder group at several different, but, um, this group in particular, I have one student who, .

Asked me, , recently, you know, he said, you know, I was raised Catholic and I was, , which as was I, and I was [00:04:00] taught that, um, by a particular priest, apparently that there was a conversation around the fact that there's 4 ways that the devil can get in and one of them is through meditation. And so we.

We talked a little bit about it and I really asked him, you know, I kind of put on my coach hat and, had him kind of explore, what truth might be in there for him, right? , and also looked at it from the perspective of, you know, as humans, we create stories around things and the priest is a human, right?

And he created maybe possibly a story around things. So there's. It's just really an interesting thing that this is coming up right now in this conversation. So we just, I love the way the universe works. And you know, one of the books that I had just quoted from today in a, in a class that I was teaching was Into the Silent Land.

Oh, it's a terrific book. Yeah. So along the same, right. So along the same lines where it looks at how. [00:05:00] Throughout, , the Christian religion, right? And, and I believe he's a friar, right? He's a, maybe a, uh, Catholic priest, maybe, or a friar. 

Rich Lewis: Yeah, he's, he is a Catholic priest. Okay. 

Maria Mayes: And, and just exploring how biblically it, silence was addressed, 

where that same question that this student had offered me. , I've heard before and I think there is a lot of fear basis and that's the first thing I, you know, is it sounds to me like I'm hearing there's a lot of fear in that from you. Is that right? And, , the statement itself might be a little fear based, right?

But just I would love since you are an expert and I've done a lot of research on this for you to address this because I think I can learn a lot from you as can our audience because I think A large part of the population, especially if we were in a organized, um, religion for a long time and still identifies that.

I mean, I will always be Catholic in my heart. There's a deep resonance there and part of it there, even though I'm not [00:06:00] practicing and going and sitting in a church pew every Sunday, but it's very interesting that for me. I found God in my silence and my meditation seat. It wasn't in the church pew.

I find God in nature, not within the walls of the building. And so, and I find God within others. Right. So I think if you could just. Take us through a little bit of this, of what you see as you teach this and your perspective on it from the research you've done and from the book you've written. It would really be a beautiful offering.

So 

Rich Lewis: sure. Sure. Well, and, and obviously the one interesting thing is, so Centering Prayer has been around since the early 1970s and it was created by, you know, three Trappist monks. So actually they were three Catholic priests that created, that created Centering Prayer. Um, no, and the idea of, and what people don't realize is in Christianity, there's kind of a rich tradition of silence.

So the idea of sitting in silence, people don't think of [00:07:00] prayer, they think of prayer as talking. Um, they don't think of it as just sitting with God and just being with God and letting God pray in us. Um, so the idea of silence and silent prayer, wordless prayer really goes. back to Jesus and even further back.

You can see it in the Old Testament. You definitely see it in Jesus. We surmise that when he went off to get away from the crowds that he wasn't always just babbling. He was, he was just sitting with God and you didn't need to talk. And we also, I guess, The idea, you know, if he went off into the desert to fast, and it was kind of, Amos Smith made some, you know, comments in his book that, you know, you needed to conserve your energy, you're not eating, you're not really drinking, or maybe you're drinking, but you need to conserve your energy, while you, you wouldn't talk, because that requires energy, you would be still And, and sit and, and not move, and you probably wouldn't talk.

So we surmise that Jesus probably practiced some type of silent [00:08:00] prayer. We don't know exactly what he did, but he probably sat with God as well. So this idea of silence isn't new. It goes back to the Old Testament, it goes back to Jesus, it goes back to the, the desert mothers and fathers in, you know, a couple hundred years after Jesus.

So people just don't realize the rich tradition. that silent prayer that there is. Um, so I think that's one thing I like to remind people, and remind people that, you know, this, it was created by three, and I know we, every Catholic church, there's some that would probably be all for it, and then there's going to be some that are, it's, I guess it scares people because they don't take a look at, I think maybe they're just making a, a snap judgment rather than taking a look back at the rich tradition and taking a look back at all the the books and and mystics thousands of years and into the present that have written on this topic, they're just [00:09:00] Just making a judgment Or or they're scared.

I'm not saying I think that's just they're scared So I guess that's kind of one reaction I have to people is that it's it's not new this idea of sitting in silence is not A new practice by any means at all. Centering Prayer is new. It's about 50 years old, but the idea of sitting in silence is definitely not new at all.

Maria Mayes: Right, right. So, take us through kind of the basics of what , what Centering Prayer is, what the process is, what it, how it maybe differs from other styles of prayer or meditation. 

Rich Lewis: Okay. And so it is considered, um, it is considered meditation, but it's really considered two things, meditation, but also, yeah, every.

fostering your relationship with God and deepening your relationship with God. So during Centering Prayer, you know, we believe we're opening to the presence, and I'll share how you do it, we believe we're opening to the presence and actions of God within and just sitting with God and deepening this [00:10:00] relationship.

So we are meditating. But we do believe that we're sitting with god. I'm not i'm not just sitting with myself I'm sitting with god with the intention of opening to the presence and actions of god within i'm not god But but the divine is within me You know waiting to be expressed through me and then out into the world as I move through through life on a daily basis So, how you do Centering Prayer is you sit comfortably with your eyes closed, and then to begin your Centering Prayer sit, you introduce interiorly what we call a sacred word.

So it's usually one or two or three syllables. So it could be a color, it could be beach, it could be God, it could be faith, it could be trust, um, it could be Jesus. You kind of introduce that word, signifying that you're beginning your silent sit, and with the intention of just opening to the presence and action of God within.

And then as you're sitting there, um, when you begin noticing that you're engaging your thoughts, and what I mean by that [00:11:00] is you're thinking about what you're going to do after your sit, if you have errands to run, you be, you're thinking about, well, what am I going to do? Or what am I having for dinner? Or what are we doing this weekend?

Or you think about something you did before your sit. Maybe you had an argument with someone and you're, and it's bothering you. You realize you're now engaging your thoughts. You're no longer sitting. with God in the present moment. You're sitting with you and your engaged thoughts. So you then interiorly just reintroduce that word to let go of these engaged thoughts and come back to the present moment and then let go of the word.

So you just use it when needed to keep returning to God in the present moment. So you're not, you're not using it as a mantra. And there are some practices that are mantra practices, and that's okay, where you're repetitively saying something during your time, but with centering prayer, you're just using this word when needed, when you notice, there I go again, following my thoughts and seeing my thoughts or seeing where they.

Take me. So that's, and I say that's as simple as the practice, but it's, it's, it can be hard, you [00:12:00] know, to sit in silence for, for any duration because you didn't, that's when you realize sometimes that I have all these thoughts and, and I don't want to deal with them or why are all these thoughts come coming up, but that's essentially how you do it.

And, you know, we suggest maybe that you work up to 20 minutes, but that you don't have to start with 20 minutes, perhaps if the idea of sitting in silence seems taunting to you and, um, and brutally painful, you can start with, you know, one minute. two minutes, five minutes, and maybe over time work your way up to 20 minutes.

But that's a little bit of that. So that's kind of a 50 year old practice. It started in there in the 19 early 1970s with three Catholic priests that taught it amongst themselves amongst other clergy. Began kind of teaching it to the public and then they created an organization. Thomas Keating, uh, was was one of the three Trappist Monks, created the organization called The Contemplative Outreach.

[00:13:00] So they have a website called contemplative outreach.org that's been around since 1984 with a ton of resources on centering prayer and a ton of. groups that practice either in a building or house somewhere or, or via zoom on some regular frequency. So you could go to their site, get resources, but see, are there groups practicing near you if you want to go there or are there groups that you just want to join their zoom meeting and attend?

So just a little bit about the history and how you, you know, how you do 

Maria Mayes: it. I love it. I love that. You know, there's so many parallels. To the styles of meditation that I practice and teach, and it truly is, it's all in one the same, right? So it's, it's, it's so fascinating the way the language in our world works, right?

And how the language can offer safety by just changing it, right? So for example , the parallels that I see. So one of the practices that, , I. practice and that I [00:14:00] teach is centered on the breath, right? That being the anchor to keep me in that space of connecting and in communion with God, right? And for some, you know, in some of the places that I teach it, it's much more agnostic, right?

There it's faith neutral. So whatever your belief system is, but in coming into that, knowing that we're, we are going to. fit in that space that allows us to have this communion, right? That allows us to have that, um, sacred time to come back to self and realize that we are divine, right? Divinely connected to everyone, everything, and also a divine creation of God, right?

So I love that. But that, so that's one style. And then I teach a mantra based practice, which is so similar to what you're describing in that rather than let's say the term, the beach or, or Jesus or whatever it might be, which it's a. Sanskrit mantra. That's a doesn't have a specific meaning, 

it has a vibrational quality and it's takes us out of that thinking mind. So [00:15:00] whatever the anchor is. to leverage as a tool. Um, I love, I love this,, so much because what I find a lot of times in working and I'm curious your feedback on, on this too, in working with a new student is that, you know, I can't get my mind to stop my, you know, I'm troubleshooting this.

I'm thinking about the dry cleaning the kids. And of course you do, cause you're human and we're all like that, right? That's the biggest challenge. So being able to use. These tools to anchor us, whether it be a mantra or the breath or a particular word within the centering prayer to take us out of that thinking mind.

And what we would refer to as the gap, right? The space in between the thoughts that's so consistent and all these practices. So how do you encourage, you know, for someone that's coming to you and it's like, I got, you know, the, the monkey mind that, that this is a tool to get them out of that monkey mind and into that.

That stillness where we can really have that community with God, how, how do you help them in that process or maybe just any feedback you have on [00:16:00] that? 

Rich Lewis: Sure. And one thing I also want to say about the sacred word, I, I can, I, you can really call it a sacred method because I actually use a visual. Some people use a word if they're an auditory person, I quickly realized I'm more of a visual person.

So I actually kind of. picture a Jesus icon in my mind to bring you back to the present. Some people use their breath, which is what you've said, to come back to the present moment. And then there's some people that they don't close their eyes, they worry they'll fall asleep and take a nap, so they keep their eyes open and just stare at a spot.

So you can kind of pick the method, the anchor, as you said, um, to come back to the moment. And then I also like to encourage people, you know, come as you are to your centering prayer sits with whatever you believe, whether you're not sure you believe in God or whether what is your, what is your version of God or what do you think of God or, um, come as you are and try centering prayer.

You don't have to, um, You can come, not knowing what you believe, you can still try, try to practice. [00:17:00] And 

Maria Mayes: stay in what's comfortable for you, right? Like the gentleman I mentioned earlier. It's like, you have to look at what's going to be most, what makes you feel safe inside? What makes you feel most you, right?

And so I love that this is another option to offer people. So any, um, any insights in terms of just. What people can expect as they develop consistency with practice in terms of I love the term you had in your bio of life giving. Can you expand on that just a little bit more. 

Rich Lewis: Sure. And also just want to get back to your question.

So either tips or suggestions, just Uh, take baby steps with something like this. So try it for 30 days and, and perhaps make it the first thing you do in the morning before you begin your day. Otherwise you just, you just might not do it. So like my, I do two sets a day, but the first one is always when I wake up and I, and that's when I take it.

So make it the first thing you do and try it for 30 days and, and. Start small. So if it's [00:18:00] one to five minutes, just do that. Then, then begin your day. So that's what I would encourage people. And then re reevaluate after 30 days. Is this a practice that resonated with you and you want to continue it? And that's when you can think about, all right, maybe I'm going to.

Make them a little bit longer and then when they're a little bit longer, decide, well, maybe I'm going to add a second one because you know, it starts my day and then maybe in the middle of the day or the end of the day, I need to reset button, so to speak. So maybe you do a second sit. So that, that's kind of what I tell people to kind of ease into it.

Don't feel like I have to sit twice a day for 20 minutes because you probably won't want to do the practice, but ease into it once a day, baby steps. Increase the time then maybe ease into a second one and if you never ease into a second one that that's fine, too I just find the second one has been so helpful for me So so I guess to get back to your question on the life giving part So I guess I guess there's fruits of a practice of [00:19:00] really any meditative practice You, you begin discovering fruits of the practice kind of outside of the practice.

So, you know, I've been practicing as, as you said, you know, since June of 2014. And it definitely has, it changed me and, and I think of it as God has changed me and kind of blessed me with fruits. So, and I think each person will have their own fruits from the practice. So for me, I, I know the fruits are, you know, I'm a much.

more confident person in myself. Um, I'm willing to get out of my comfort zone and try and do new things that I never did before, which is many of the things I'm doing now. I mean, I work a regular day job. I work remotely, but outside of that, you know, I had the websites, all these things I'll mention now rule.

We're never even on the radar screen. And then I started practicing centering prayer. And suddenly, you know, here I am eight. Years or so later, almost nine years later, and I have a website, Silence Teaches, and I have a [00:20:00] published book, and I've been on over a hundred podcasts to share this practice. And I have some coaching clients for people that want to learn more and want someone to help them with the practice and get up and going.

And I've done a lot of Talks in front of small and large groups. So centering prayer has given me a jolt of confidence just to share this practice because it's been so helpful to me, you know, confidence and excitement, not that I wasn't, didn't want to live life before, but kind of an excitement to live life and at its fullest.

And what can I do and experience today? But then I also think I'm more, more willing to listen to people instead of make a judgment. So listen and not so quickly react and just give people the. The space they, they deserve. So those are kind of three immediate skills I can think of are just kind of listening skills and patience and getting out of my comfort zone and confidence and then kind of enjoying life.

And that because we're supposed to enjoy life. 

Maria Mayes: [00:21:00] I love that. I mean, who doesn't want more confidence? Who doesn't want more presence? And who doesn't want more patients. I think that's something that if that's not your motivators audience, I don't know what is to step into a practice of possibly centering prayer, whatever type of meditation practice might work for you.

I love that and I think it's it's so you know it really it's a testament to. It's not the time we spend on our mat or in our seat. It's the benefits that we see when we're not in our seat, right? It's that how it changes your life. So I love that you shared how it impacted yours. Um, I'd love for you to share how people can get ahold of you.

And then I have another question for you.

Rich Lewis: Sure, the best way is my website, silenceteaches. com. Um, when they subscribe, I have a free Centering Prayer ebook that they'll get. That, and it's quick, easy and quick to read. And it'll just give them an idea of what is this practice.

And it, kind of the top of each. Page is, is a question and then it [00:22:00] briefly answers it before moving on to the next page. So silenceteaches. com is, is really the best place to find me and, and what I'm up to. Beautiful. 

Maria Mayes: We'll have that in the show notes so that everybody can reach out. I highly encourage you to reach out to Rich and Rich, since we were talking about the fruits, right?

Let's, let's look at the fruits of grapes. So tell me, tell me what type of wine, if any, you like to mindfully enjoy. 

Rich Lewis: Sure. Um, I guess, uh, Zinfandel. I definitely enjoy Zinfandel. Um, Moscato, I enjoy. So I guess I'm more of a, not a super sweet and not a dry, but kind of a semi, maybe that's semi sweet. So semi sweet wines are good.

And then I also enjoy Sangria, which probably has wine and fruit and other things in it. And it might even have bourbon in it, depending on where you get it. 

Maria Mayes: Sangria is so fun. So tell me what's, what's your. Favorite part about sangria? 

Rich Lewis: Um, I guess I like the fruit, the [00:23:00] fruitiness of it. So I've, I've had a, I think I've, I've had a peach one.

I enjoy, I think I probably enjoyed like a peach one the most because there's a restaurant near us called the Hickory Tavern and they, they have a peach sangria. When we go there, I get their peach sangria. So I guess the fruity, probably the fruity flavor. I mean, there's wine in there, but I guess I enjoy the fruit flavor as well.

The 

Maria Mayes: fruits. I love it. Well, certainly, as you said, peach sangria, I could start to taste some of the flavors in my mouth of that, that beautiful sangria. So beautiful. Well, thank you so much, Rich, for, uh, coming on the show today, for sharing a little bit about your background, for sharing how centering prayer has helped you personally and for being a light to help others look into this as an option to get closer to God.

I love the work you're doing. Keep doing it. And thank you so much for being 

Rich Lewis: here. No, thanks for having me on. This was a fun conversation. If people reach out to me, I'd love to interact with people. So if someone contacts me on my [00:24:00] contact page, they'll, they'll hear back from me. 

Maria Mayes: Sounds good. And we'll have all that in the show notes.

So thanks again. Thank you.